I’d start a separate blog on this topic but I don’t think there are that many other people who have leveled ol’ Riley due to the myth that he is tall. He is not tall. The guy is a shrimp. I watch him all the time and I’ve heard celebrities talk about him and say things about how tall he is. You are all liars and sellouts. What is he paying you to reconfirm this myth? I bet it isn’t even very much.
OK, to the story. I was in Chicago on the way back from the Six Flags down there and wanted to go one one last thrill ride, so I went to the top of the Sears Tower. Getting off the elevator my eyes were drawn up and out to the skyline, and I walk right into this guy what his head don’t come up but to my sternum.
On account of the ‘Chi-Guy’ hat I had just purchased he must of took me for a native. He starts saying how all Chicago-anians are the same, all communists and leftists supporting al-qeada and the Khmer Rouge, and how he hoped the Bears crashed their team airplane into the oldest part of Lambeau Field.
I punched the little guy out at this point, partly because I’m a Wisconsin-etian, and also of course to protect him fr om himself and others lest he say something outlandish or offensive and make somebody mad. Right in the middle of his big square forehead.
I took in the view for a minute or so but it was kind of hazy, and that makes the vertigo worse somehow, and I had just punched out a major television personality in front of dozens of people, so I thought I’d split. I rappelled down the stairs and was gone.