Anti-Panda Propaganda Systems, unLTD – Values Statement

Anti-Panda Propaganda Systems considers it its solemn duty and privilege to provide the world with the most effective and highest quality propaganda against pandas as it is able to create, by the grace of Almighty God.

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Senate To Stop Jumping on Bed, Screaming in Exchange for More T.V. Time

Breaking: With bedtime looming nearer, a last-minute deal was reached in the White Household for the Senate, age 5, to stop jumping on his bed and causing a ruckus, in exchange for another half-hour of television privileges.

“It’s hard as a parent to give in to a child’s demands.” says Connie Gressman, a neighbor “but with all the jumping, hooting and hollering, he wasn’t going to go to settle down and behave himself anytime soon.”

Another neighbor commented that in the future the parents might want to cut down on sugary snacks, and maybe schedule some outside activities to help the little guy use up some of that energy.