My Condolences To All Of Chris Kyle’s Family and Friends

I defy anyone to find someone with more respect for Seal Team than I have.

My deepest respects and condolences to the family and friends of Chris Kyle.

Further comment available at 920-494-2456.

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Steve’s ‘I punched out Jesse Ventura’ story

So I was telling someone at the bar about the time I punched out Jesse Ventura, and this dude named Loddy, whom I will refer to as Steve, from here on to protect his identity, and because I don’t want to keep typing the name Loddy, told me that he too had punched Jesse Ventura out once.

He told me this story:

‘Yeah, so I was at the in North Dakota DMV getting my driver’s license renewed, and I seen this big tall old guy at one of the windows arguing with the lady behind the glass.  I gave up my place in line to move closer to him, since he seemed to be getting loud and boisterous.  Also, I believe either he or I may have been drunk.

“Out of his garbling I heard some words about how he people who worked at the DMV didn’t know what it was like to stand in line at the DMV since they work there and are always the next available customer if they need something, and probably get a sweet employee discount even on custom vanity license  plates.  Then I heard something about the DMV deserving to lose a few of its own on our nation’s decrepit highways, and I snapped.

“I took a moment of silence, and gave Jesse Ventura a moment of face punching.

”The blow sent him reeling back into the glass partition which separates the masses from the coveted plastic stickers and the begrudging DMV employees who dole them out.  His head cocked forward, cocked differently from how it had been cocked just prior to the punch though still very cocked.  Then his whole body cocked forward and he hit the floor bam boom splat.

“Since everyone in line who wasn’t there to take their drunk-driving test had their nose in a copy of Car and Driver magazine, and Sarah, or something, who recognized me from high school was now temporarily blind from getting her DMV picture taken (I nicknamed her ‘DMV Chick.  She thought that was funny kinda.  Chicks love funny clever nicknames like that), I took my chance to run out the door to my car and then to the nearest phone booth to see if there was another DMV in North Dakota and if they had the plate PAK4EVR available.”